OUR DAILY SURPRISE LINK
Alrightie, Voyeurwebbers, if you like to read about sex, we have a great Surprise Link for you today. Yep, it has lots of sex stories that, though they seem improbable, are allegedly true. Heck, even if they aen't true, they make some interesting fanatasy reading, hehehe! Okie, get on your bi-focals, grab the K-Y Jelly and Click Here
BAD HUMOR
Memories...
A man was standing next in line at a checkout, when the attractive blonde woman in front of him turned around and gave him a big smile. "Hello," she said, as she waited for her change.
"Er, I'm sorry. Do I know you?" The man said in some confusion.
"Oh, my mistake. I thought you were the father of one of my children," she said apologetically, and picking up her shopping, she left the store.
The man was astonished. He thought, "How amazing that a good-looking woman like that should have forgotten who fathered her children." Then he began to worry. He had an encounter in his youth that could have resulted in a child he didn't know about. She had been blonde, pretty, and about the same height. On leaving the store, he saw the woman getting into her car. He ran over to her and said, "Look, you couldn't have been the girl I met that night at a party in Hampstead, in 1980 could you? We sh@gged on the billiards table in front of everyone, things got really wild and I got so drunk that I didn't get your number."
The woman looked utterly outraged and said, "No! I'm your son's English teacher."
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Man Ate Ex-Wife's Passport?
NIZHNY NOVGOROD, Russia -- We hear a lot of stories about scorned women, Voyeurwebbers, but scorned men do some pretty odd things, too. Take, for example, the following case in point where a Russian man is facing jail after he ate his ex-wife's passport during an argument.
Police in Nizhny Novgorod arrested Ivan Volokov, 31, after he tore up ex-wife Anna's passport and then ate all the pieces.
"They had just got divorced but the couple remained living in the same flat," said a police spokesman.
"He wanted to destroy the passport as it was the woman's only official document which proved she had the right to stay living in the house."
Mr. Volokov has been charged with destroying official documents and threatening behavior.
-- DOH! I thought just about everyone already knew that, if you get in an argument with your significant other or your ex-significant other, you should never, ever eat any of her official documents. It's considered both bad for the stomach and, generally speaking, bad for your wallet, hehehe! Not to mention poor form. But "poor form" is the least of your worries here at Voyeurweb, where all our lovely ladies have great form, hehehe! Yep, just go to any of VW's many sections and you'll find thousands of pics and videos of lovely ladies with the best "forms" you'll ever see, and their bodies are great, too! Hehehe! -- Igor
EYE ON: Bras by K.
Eye is calling it the Case of the Burgled Bras, Voyeurwebbers.
Police in Lee County, Florida, are busy searching for whoever stole 160 brassieres from a local Victoria's Secret store. And this isn't the first it has happened, either.
The Lee County Sheriff's office said the thief or thieves stole nearly $6,000 worth of designer lingerie in the most recent in a series of bra thefts in the Fort Myers, Florida, area.
Two other Victoria Secret's stores in southwest Florida suffered major bra thefts since February, said police, resulting in a total of 452 missing bras worth nearly $19,000.
Even worse, Voyeurwebbers, several other Victoria Secret's locations have endured smaller thefts during the same time frame, according to police.
Police told reporters the most recent burgled bras incident occurred when an unidentified woman entered the store and began putting bras inside a bag while store employees were occupied. The female suspect then fled with the merchandise.
This is outrageous, Voyeurwebbers! This means that ... let's see here ... it means that ... 452 stolen bras, plus 160 stolen bras in the most recent incident equals ... uh ... a whopping 512 stolen bras! And you know what that means right, Voyeurwebbers? That's right, it means that 1,024 women are running around southwest Florida bra-less!
It also means that Eye must once again slip into his alter ego. Yes, you guessed it, that famous American defective Hemlock Stones (Eye's alter ego) is now on the case and won't give up until he has looked, along with his trusty magnifying glass, under the blouse of every attractive woman in southwest Florida until he finds the culprit wearing one of those stolen Victoria's Secret bras.
Sure it will be hard work, sure it will take maybe weeks or even months, but Hemlock Stones will never quit until he finds all 1,024 boobies wearing those stolen Victoria's Secret bras! You have Eye's word on it, Voyeurwebbers. ... What? ... Excuse me a second, Voyeurwebbers, Igor apparently wants a word with Eye. ... ... ... Well, crappo! It looks like the famous American defective Hemlock Stones won't be on this case after all, Voyeurwebbers. Igor just informed Eye that he has used up his vacation time for the year. Bummer! K.
Eye hastens to point out that any opinions expressed in this column are entirely his own and are neither those of Voyeurweb nor its management. K. |
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