OUR DAILY SURPRISE LINK
Heya, Voyeurwebbers! It's Video Day again at the Surprise Link department and I hope you've been brushing up on how to break a magic curse because today's video features a hot babe witch and, if you aren't careful, she'll cast her spell on you, hehehe! Not to worry, Voyeurwebbers, because today's video also show you how to break a black magic spell. Once again, however, our legal beagles require to remind you that Voyeurweb in no way, shape or form recommends or endorses any service or product that may -- because the mutants in the Surprise Link department have been bewitched, hehehe! -- make it as a Surprise Link. Now that that crap is out of the way, let's get to it. Just take off all your clothes (it's required if you're going to break a curse, hehehe!), start singing "That old black magic has me in its spell", grab your "magic wand" hehehe!, and Click Here
BAD HUMOR
The Blonde Bride's Kitchen Diary
Monday:
It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors loaned me the extra bowls.
Tuesday:
Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home to dinner and they found me naked!
Wednesday:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice so I took a bath. Can't say it helped the rice.
Thursday:
Tried a new salad recipe. It said "prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." Tom asked why I was rolling around the garden.
Friday:
Found easy recipe for cookies that said "put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Something went wrong. When I got home, everything was just as I left it.
Saturday:
Tom went shopping today, brought home a chicken, and asked me to dress it for Sunday. I didn't have any clothes that fit it. For some reason, Tom keeps counting to ten.
Sunday: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly, I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. How disappointing. When it came out, it was still hamburger!
Goodnight, dear diary. Tomorrow I'm gonna buy a bigger oven so I can fix Tom a chocolate moose!.
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Wife Divorces Hubby Because ... You're Not Gonna Believe This!
VERONEZH, Russia -- A Russian man is being divorced by his wife, Voyeurwebbers, because his penis snapped off while they were having sex. Really. Doctors in Voronezh, southern Russia, had fitted Grigory Toporov, 47, with a special prosthetic when he told them he didn't measure up to his wife's expectations in the bedroom. In short, they fixed him up with a penis extension. Things were going pretty well with his wife at first, but she was horrified when the extension broke off during a wild sex session. "I told her I would get a new one but she wasn't having any of it. She said she was fed up with my failures in bed and wants a divorce," said Toporov.
-- ZOINKS! That has got to be one of the most embarrassing moments in sex that I've come across in quite a while, Voyeurwebbers. Here's a guy who was going overboard to please his wife and then gets done in by a faulty penis part, hehehe! Of course there is still one big question that was never answered in this article. Namely, where's the penis extension now? Is it still...er ... "with" his ex-wife? Hehehe! That's one thing you don't have to worry about at VW's sexplict RedClouds and HomeClips sextions, Voyeurwebbers. In more than 10 years on the World Wide Web we've never had what you could call a "penis malfunction". Hehehe!-- Igor
EYE ON: California by K.
Well, you can forget about California, Voyeurwebbers, it's gone. Not there anymore. Moved to another dimension or something.
We'll miss California, particularly all those hot bikini-thong babes, but it was bound to happen sooner or later.
No, the "big one" did not hit California and shake it into the ocean. If that were the case, don't you think you would have heard something before getting around to reading this column? And it wasn't a tsunami. Nor was it a series of box-office flops at the movie theaters.
Nope. It was the Russians. That's right, Eye said the Russians. They've eliminated California without so much as a fare-thee-well.
But it wasn't all the Russians who did this, Voyeurwebbers, it was just the Russians in the northwestern region of Nizhny Novgorod that did it. They wiped California off the map ... well, the Russian maps of Nizhny Novgorod, that is.
Why Nizhny Novgorod? Because that's where the tiny village of California was located, that's why.
Seems that a big Russian land owner was a tad upset with the Czar for selling Alaska to the U.S. in 1867 (remember Seward's folly? Well, it was the purchase of Alaska from the Russians). Anyway, to vent his pique with the Czar's government, the land owner established the village of California.
Regrettably, the once vibrant California in Nizhny Novgorod has been in decline since the Soviet Union collapsed. Actually, "decline" is not quite the right word, "kaput" might be better, because the last inhabitant of California moved out in 2000 to find a better life elsewhere -- like maybe California in the U.S. -- without even turning out the lights.
Because the Russian California no longer has any residents, the powers that be in Nizhny Novgorod decided there wasn't much point in leaving it on the map of Russia; besides, it would save a bit of ink when they print the new map.
Eye will miss California, Voyeurwebbers, even if it was in Russia. No more hot Russian babes in babushkas. No more menage-a-troikas in the hot tubs. *SIGH* Life just won't be same any more. But that's in Nizhny Novgorod. Life everywhere else will be same, particularly here at Voyeurweb, where life is better than good! K.
Eye hastens to point out that any opinions expressed in this column are entirely his own and are neither those of Voyeurweb nor its management. K. |
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